2006

What can I say about 2006? It was a crap year in so many ways.
It started off fine with Raena’s birthday….the first time she had had a party at home…she loved it and although Andrew didn’t really want her to have one at home he was in his element with the kids and said we should definitely do it again.
Then Andrew became ill in February, he went to the doctors and was told it was a viral infection. I called an emergency doctor out on the Sunday because he hadn’t been able to lie down, he just sat on the bed and now his leg was swelling up as well as not being able to breathe, again he was told it was a viral infection. On the tuesday I had to call an ambulance because his legs had turned purple and were freezing and he just couldn’t breathe. Two hours later he died at the bottom of the stairs as they tried to get him to the ambulance.
The world as I knew it just disappeared, all our hopes, dreams and our future. He wouldn’t be able to vet Raena’s boyfriends, wouldn’t be able to pick her up from a disco when she became old enough, wouldn’t walk her down the aisle or revel in his grandchildren. There wouldn’t be anymore windups…for years I thought he was ticklish under his chin….no more fights with cushions…no more dancing in bed…. No more dreaming of living in spain…it had all gone.
Days became weeks and then months…all rolling into each other.
Then in june Bali our black cat was runover…I was lucky and somehow he managed to survive. Some how during august I managed to decorate all of downstairs.
then in late august came the news that Andrews best friend Malc had died in his sleep due to a ruptured heart valve. Malc had been devastated when Andrew had died and many believed that he died of a broken heart.
We went to spain in October for a week, it was awful. I missed him even more. Then when we came back there was a letter saying that Andrews 2nd cousin pat who lived in Australia had suddenly died as well.
This year has been an emotional rollercoaster….. my health has suffered because of it, I have been in and out of a&e all year because my tongue keeps swelling up, I cry myself to sleep most nights and I really want to get off this rollercoaster now.
Apart from Raena the only thing that I have to be thankful for is my family but most of all my friends. They have made me laugh and cry. They send me endless text, pm and email messages…let me phone them at stupid hours and just cry down the phone at them, and THEY have given me the strength to go on.
So to you girlies I say thank you and roll on 2007…it cant get any worse.

we coped fine...

on christmas day. there was a couple of times when we were near to tears...when raena still made three piles of presents, one for me, one for her and one from me to her..... and when i gave her the present that me and andrew had discussed in january ...tickets to see the show mama mia.
we just had a quite day the two of us, we always aim for lunch at 3pm but never make it on time, but this year we sat down at 2.50pm...i was quite chuffed with myself. i think the fact that we had already talked about what we were going to do and the fact that there was just the two of us made it so much easier...i dont think i could have coped with other people being nice and jolly.

boxing day we were going to go to the sales but we couldnt because there wasnt any buses! and then yesterday i stubbed my toe during a midnight dash to the loo and my foot now has this major bruise and i spent most of the day with my foot up with a pile of cotton wool soaked in witch hazel on it.

ok...

so blogger wont let me post more than five at a time...heres the rest lol.

merry christmas...i hope everyone has a fab time.

oh my gosh

its christmas eve already, how quick the last 10 months have gone.

are we ready for the big day...no...is the house tidy....no...will we cope tomorrow...no.... ive been crying on and off all this week so maybe i will be calmer tomorrow or maybe it will all come flooding out but what ever happens we will make it through the day somehow.

its the little things that get you, like buying your own present from raena, knowing that this year that i will have to mash the potatoes instead of andrew, or the fact that there will only be two piles of presents instead of three.





ive finally caught up with my journal today...please excuse the scan of the 24th as the verse sticks are so lumpy...i'll take a photo of it in daylight and replace it.

everything went pearshaped....

last week, nothing went right. i sent my stocking swap minus a stocking coz raena was still ill and i wasnt able to get to town to get one. i sent my christmas card swap without even writing in it.....what was i thinking!!

i was sooooo far behind with my christmas journal that i decided to cheat, well not exactly cheating, but i am determind to finish it this year and the only way i could achieve that was by scraplifting shimelles! so the question is did i really cheat...no...i didnt, coz at the end of the course i will have the christmas journal that i so want, recalling my christmas...i mean...i didnt copy the journalling just the lo's....that cant be cheating ...can it?

busy busy busy

had visitors yesterday so i didnt partake in carolines cc as much as i would have liked, and ive been informed that i will have visitors again today! i hope to get more of the classes done....fingers crossed. i managed to get jakeys verse sticks done. the first one now sits on my christmas tree and the second one is for my christams journal. i even managed to get yesterdays journal done as well.

these are the last 3 days of shimelles class. i am really enjoying them, much more than last year for reason lol. the tags on the middle one say "presents to buy" and "things to do"....theres loads left to do on both of them! i was going to finish the christmas shopping this week but with raena having an ear infection which has effected her inner ear so that she is dizzy all the time they will just have to wait till next week.....fingers crossed!

just a quickie...

as i am running around like a headless chicken!
theres a cybercrop on tomorrow and sunday at carolinezcrafts ...have fun.

oooh and have you seen anams new venture. its not live yet but you can bookmark the site and check out the blog herehttp://www.justlikesnowflakes.com/

ive started....

so i WILL finish this years christmas journal.

i had visitors at weekend ....less said about that the better.....so i didnt start untill sunday but i am now upto date...well apart from decorating the journal lol.

we went shopping in manchester on saturday i hadnt realised how much the arndale had changed...i spent a fortune at hotel chocolate! the christmas markets were fab and we got some great presents and some fab german christmas tree decorations.

fab weekend

this was shimelles clas for the uks harry potter cyber crop.

more of the classes....

and these are for the scrappad cybercrop. the classes were by marylin healey, rebecca sower and anso

had a strange

week last week.

it was birthday on wednesday, i though Raena had forgotten in the morning as she never mentioned it and i didnt want to upset her by mentioning it. I spent most of the morning crying but perked up when Raena came home and gave me the gifts that i had bought her on holiday......she really is a sweetie. I got some awful news about something that my Dad had done later that evening and it really shook me up...why are some people so selfish and not care about the impact that it has on others....it was at this point that i turned the phones off, and didnt turn them back on again until Sunday as i just couldnt cope with them all phoning me.

On friday i had to take the cats to the vets as they had contracted cat flu from when they were in kennels, luckily they only had a mild dose coz they had been vaccinated, although Zante is still poorly at least now he isnt sneezing every 10 mins.

We went to town on Saturday and raided Primark for winter clothes as Raena just doesnt have anything left form last year that fits!

I called an ambulance at 5am on Sunday as my tongue had swollen up again and spent 3 hours in A&E. luckily they let me home in time so that i could go to the Manchester crop. I got some scrummy presents and Pual bought a surprise birthday cake for me......i hadnt even bought one as I hadnt even thought about it.I had a fab time and even managed to finish off my cj


Raena has been ill the last few days with tonsilitus again, thats the third time this year, last year wasnt too bad but the year before she had it threee times in 7 weeks.

A few things fell into my beasket today from ATDML, mainly crate papers....Avebue, Holly and Birdie lol

family get on my nerves....

dont they realise that when they say "weve not been around coz the house doesnt seem the same without andrew" how much hurt they cause us. they havent even visited since we buried him.
WE have to live here. WE know its not the same, coz WE have to live with it every day and night.
selfish effing bastards!

home from hols

well weve just spent a week on the costa del sol. the weather was very pleasant, not too hot and not too wet.

we had a couple of dramas..... raena spewed as we entered the hotel reception, good job i had took a sick bag from the plane. then later that day she started limping badly and started to complain that she couldnt swallow. so the next day i took her to the clinic in the hotel where they promptly sent for an ambulance. she had her leg xrayed at hospital and thankfully the pain was only muscular. by this time she had a temperature of 38.8 and they diagnosed tonsillitus......that must be the 6th time she has had it in 2 years!

we met the lovely elaine and kate on the tuesday when we went to the market. they showed us a great time and i bought a pair of red leather boots...not like me at all lol.

we had a lovely break, swimming in the pool and taking long walks on the prom, for raena i think one of the highlights was sealife as she made me go round twice lol.

i must admit that come thursday i really wanted to come home as i realised just how much i miss andrew, yes..... i know that he isnt here, but at least being home i just feel closer to him. its strange that a week away from home made me miss him more than the last 8 months. i suppose it was the fact that most of the things that i would normally take for granted on holiday just werent there this time.

last night...

i was in tv heaven stargate sg1 stargate atlantis and...the 4400 what more could a girl want...well actually a double bill of torchwood which starts on sunday...oooooh i just love john barrowman.
finally finished a cj that i have been working on for weeks...just couldnt get it right but i am pleased with it now.

not blogged for weeks!

time just seems to fly by...so a quick summary
i started my new job at school as a midday assistant and i love it. i didnt realise how much i needed to get out.
i finished shimelles last class on time and am now kicking myself that i didnt do this one...mind you i dont have the time but i could have saved it lol.
weve been busy collecting conkers, we do it every year and we just love rooting for them in amongst the leaves.
i ordered some 7gypsies seal stamps from atdml and they are fab...bigger than i thought but just the right size.
busy trying to organise the halloween disco next week at school...but...one of the teachers may have scuppered it by arranging 2 football matches on the same night which will mean we will have loads of boys missing from the juniors disco and their parents...most of whom are helpers!!!
right its late and i have to go will update again tomorrow...especially if my scrapolpgie kit arrives!

fantastic day...

i got another job.... a proper one, not just working from home...though working from home is proper lol.

i start on monday as a mid day assistant at raena's school...ok so its only 6.75 hours a week but it gets me out of the house and mixing with people and i can still do my other work.

the last two nights when i have gone to bed raena has been asleep...thats the first time in 7 months, so hopefully we have turned a corner there.

and..... i am upto date with shimelles class, and only 2 more days to go.

why....

is this weeks speshal dare. i have wanted to do this subject for the last couple of weeks but it wouldnt come together and then i saw the speshal dare and i knew i just had to do it.....why did this happen on 9.11 2001

i want these...why...not sure as i have loads of the chalk ones but i do think they look neat like this....or is this just a new marketing gimmick to get us to buy more!

phew i got back in!

i changed over to beta and then it wouldnt let me back in! finally resolved the problem and now trying to catch up.

had a fab time at the manchester crop on sunday, spent far too much but i did make a good start on shimelles class. the next crop is the 12th november and they are having a chocolate fountain....just drooling at the thought lol. here is the intro page for the class, the rest are on my slide.

raena started back at school on tuesday, my how she has grown i cant believe she is just starting year 5!

malc's funeral is next week. the post mortem showed that he died of a ruptured heart valve, and that he woudnt have know anything about it which is a blessing.

speshal dare #17.....if i knew then what i know now...i would have said i love you more often.
this attempt no. 2 as the first one i ended up ripping everything off the page as i wasnt happy with it...not sure if i am happy now but i can live with it lol.

uks blog promt is..
It’s a colourful world: What’s your favourite colour? What’s your least-liked colour? Do colours have meanings or evoke emotions for you? Do they affect your senses? How has scrapbooking affected your sense of colour… or vice versa? Are you more aware of colour in your environment now?

i dont have one fave colour, my faves are blue and green.....i am a muted girl at heart. i hate yellow and orange as i really struggle witht them in real life and scrapbooking. scrapbooking has made me look at colours differently as when buy raena's clothes i do think about which papers will go with them lol.

life stinks

andrew and malc had been best friends for over 25 years. their birthdays were next to each other and they always celebrated together. last year they even started going camping and took the kids with them.
i was gutted this morning when his ex partner called to say that their son had found him in dead in bed this morning and that their son had had to go and find help.
so 6 months and 7 days after andrew died i had to start making the same phone calls all over agan...... and again i got the same response from their friends...they just couldnt believe it.
he was only here a couple of weeks ago making me laugh as usual and he will be greatly missed, but at least they are now together...best freinds as always.

been drooling

ive been drooling over a string of beads and thought i would share them with those of you who havent found them yet. they are made by the lush jaq and they are stunning. i am hoping to get one for my sister as a christmas pressie later in the year.

todays uks promt is..... You're having a small intimate dinner party with lots of good food, perhaps a glass or two of wine, and LOTS of sparkling conversation. Each of your five guests must be a real person but can be historical or currently alive. Who will you invite and why? What do you really want to talk about?

1. charles barclay loreilhe...i want to know if he really is my 8x great grandfather and what life was like for him.

2. michel loreilhe.....charles barclays father, why did he leave france..was it because of the french revolution.

3. leonardo da vinci....i'd like to know why was mona lisa smiling and i'd like to show him that most of his drawing are now real working machines.

4. andrew hardie...my husband so we could have a kiss and a cuddle and say goodbye.

well what a day...

its taken me twice as long to day to input the data for invoices all because half the info was either missing or incorrect! i made at least 20 phone calls and still have to finish them off in the morning coz i am still missing info!

on a brighter note we made cupcakes again. this time i made the butter icing with the electric mixer...big mistake as its too creamy and not as thick.

have you seen beths blog inspire me it lists challenges and dares...well worth a look if you have scrappers block or fancy challenging yourself.... and it also got a mention today by angie pederson

i'll attatch the photo of the cupcakes when blogger lets me!

cupcakes and more

i think i have just become obsessed with cupcakes lol. shimelle has a new class about to start and i just had to go noseying around her site and i started to click on one link then another and the next thing i knew i was making sure i had enough ingredients to make them today......check out the links on the right.... we had great fun making them but raena doesnt like the icing!!...what is wrong with this child...ive promised to make more and we'll do the next batch half and hal with butter icing and ordinary icing.

this weekends uks prompt is...
Treasure chest: you have a small chest and you’re going to place things in it that symbolise who you are, important milestones, etc. so that someone years after you’re gone will look at it and see the essence of you. For example, you might place a stethoscope if you’re a doctor or medical student, a Bible if your faith is important to you, etc. Which five items would you choose and why?

1. raenas hospital id to show that i am a mother

2. my wedding ring

3. a cd with all the info that i have collated re family history

gosh that was hard and i could only think of 3 lol

wow what a week...the boiler is playing up...the kitchen sink is leaking and after spending 3 hours at ikea they didnt have any in stock or any others that would fit!!
my sister came and it was fine for the first two day but yesterday she drove me mad and has left me stressed and the house is a total wreck, as she insisted that we decorate the living room instead of finishing off what i had started. so now all downstairs is a wreck and theres nothing to sit on...well except this chair lol.

i'm going to sit and play with my cosmo cricket wanted collection tonight as i NEED some me time and i havent scrapped for a week!!....if you want some then go to boxroombooty, very fast delivery and they have some lush go west studio acrylic letters.

todays blog promt on uks....
Look up the meaning of your name: Does it fit? Did you want to change it when you were growing up? Do you like it now? If not, what name would you like to have? What is your nickname? How do you feel about it?

well i couldnt find my name listed anywhere lol..and as to my nickname...well i was named after a dog...lets see if anyone guesses which dog....

just filled my basket up at boxroombooty with the lovely cosmo cricket....it is just sooo yummy......and i just cant decide on those extra large alpha o mega's lol

well i spent most of the day working and then ive been flying round the house trying to tidy up after the decorating coz my sister comes in two days...eeek!

well ive spent days decorating...i even tiles the kitchen....well it was only the bit between the cooker and the hood but at least ive done it. the kitchen / diner is almost finished, just the alcoves to do...then onto the front room!!

ive been tagged today by the wicked jakey...

1. If you could build a house anywhere, where would it be?
Spain…somewhere near the sea

2. What's your favourite article of clothing?
Slippers…do they count?

3. Favourite physical feature of the opposite sex?
Blue eyes

4. What's the last CD that you bought?
Don’t normally buy them

5. Where's your favourite place to be?
By the Sea

6. Where's your least favourite place to be?
I used to hate working in an office

7. What's your favourite place to be massaged?
My shoulders…a great tension reliever

8. Strong in mind or strong in body?
Mind…I am so stubborn

9. What time do you wake up in the morning?
During school term the alarm goes off at 6.50 and I get up about 7.30…but…during holidays about 9

10. What is your favourite Kitchen appliance?
Microwave…Andrew used to call me…chicken ding!

11. What makes you really angry?
Racism

12. If you could play an instrument what would it be?
Saxaphone….i just love the sound of it

13. Favourite colour?.
Blues and greens

14. Sports car or SUV?
Whats a suv?

15. Do you believe in an afterlife?
Yes…well the angels I saw were real enough

16. Favourite children's book?
That’s a hard one…it’s a toss between brer rabbit or peter pan.

17. What's your favourite season?
Spring…when everything is just starting to appear in the garden

18. What is your least favourite household chore?
All of it….have you seen my house lol

19. If you could have one super-power, what would it be?
The power to heal

20. If you have a tattoo what is it?
Don’t have one…don’t like them

21. Can you juggle?
Don’t be so daft..

22. The one person from your past that you wish you could go back and talk to?
That’s a hard one…it used to be my mum but now I would say it has to be Andrew.

24. What's in the boot of your car?
Nothing…I don’t have a car.

25. Which do you prefer, sushi or hamburger?
Give me a big mac any day

errrm ...there doesnt seem to be a question 23!!!!!


now who do i tag next??

ok this is my take on this weeks speshal dare. i didnt realise how soppy it was going to get.

the journalling reads..... "i need to tell YOU how much I love you, in case I leave suddenly. I love you with all my heart and more. You really are the sunshine of my life, though the sun does NOT shine out of your bottom! You are the most important thing that is now left in my life.
I hope you can grow strong and tall and just remember that you can achieve anything that you want to as long as you work at it. On those days that you feel down I hope you will remember us and smile.. Your dad loved you very much and he was very proud of you and so am I. I am sorry I never gave you the chance to say goodbye to your dad."


Lots of hugs and kisses mum.

uks are doing a blog prompt each day. todays is "If you could go back to about the age of 14, when you're just entering your teenage years, what 3-5 pieces of advice would you give yourself? (Remember, this could/would have changed your life)".

i've thought long and hard about this today and ive decided that there is no advice that i would have given myself. if i hadnt have made the mistakes that i did then i wouldnt be the strong person that i am today.